Motherhood Moments: I’m WHAT?

It’s time I let you all in on a little secret. If some of you have noticed a lull in my posting for the past few months it is for one simple reason.

I’m pregnant.

Yep. Over our anniversary trip to Alaska, Mountain Dad and I discovered that we have a third baby on the way. This was a surprise, unexpected but not necessarily unwanted, at least by me.

I grew up as the middle child of NINE and as a girl always imagined having a smallish family of six kids. Then I got married, had two kids and two miscarriages and realized how impossible six children would be in my life.

Kids are hard! They’re fun, loveable and joyful but they’re also a LOT of work.

This summer (on the same anniversary trip) I read the book All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenting by Jennifer Senior. In it Senior describes the affect of children on their parents and how having children reshapes you as a person. She also discusses how social changes in the last century have affected society’s view of children from an economic asset to a purely emotional one. It was an interesting book to read the week I discovered I was expecting again.

The prospect of having another baby has been tough to come to terms with, especially for Mountain Dad who had said several times that he was content with two kids. Thankfully he has been nothing but supportive, recognizing that we both are responsible for this new life and that our capacity as parents (to love, be patient, deal with stress) can expand to envelop another child.

Perhaps because this pregnancy was unexpected, or maybe because I’m older than before, the last 16 weeks have involved lying on my couch, nauseous agony and dreading having to put food in my mouth 80% of every day. It has only been in the last two weeks that I have felt capable of semi normalness, and even so I have to take a rest every afternoon.

More than anything I feel lazy, so I have taken to reminding myself that while lying on the couch I’m doing more than just resting – I’m growing tiny bones, organs, feet, hands and an adorable face. This season of my life is mirroring the one outside my door. Instead of putting my energy into externally visible pursuits, like the leaves in the mountains around me I am shedding my excess burdens for a time.

I know this blog is about being outdoors but unlike Tanya Koob, Chasqui Mom, Meghan Ward and Amy Hatch I am a tired pregnant woman. I will not be biking, snowboarding (so sad) or climbing mountains throughout this pregnancy. I will be enjoying the outdoors in a more restful way, like going on picnics with my family or watching the tots play in the leaves outside. Sometimes that’s what life calls for, and I’m just answering the call.