Category: Motherhood Moments

How Skiing Strengthens Families

Last season I was pregnant with Baby L and missed the thrill of snowboarding. I missed gliding down the mountain, trying tricks and spending quality outdoor time with my tots. So when Sundance Mountain Resort opened last weekend Big E and I were there. Even though the snow wasn’t great, it was better than no snow at all. I’ll take what I can.
Skiing and snowboarding are more than just fun winter activities. They are activities that strengthen our family. Here’s how:
Skiing defines what your family is. Some people are soccer fanatics. Some families are music families. We are a Mountain Family and that includes skiing and snowboarding. My kids may never play on a school basketball team but they will all learn how to ski.

Skiing and snowboarding strengthen family ties even over multiple generations. Since I sat out last year, my dad took Big E and Little G skiing. He enjoyed it so much he made a goal to ski with my kids once a week this coming year. My kids are three out of thirty grand kids so to have that one on one time with him is truly something special. 
It encourages new skills. Studies have shown that couples who try new activities together have stronger, longer marriages. The same applies with the whole family. As a snowboarder, I learned to ski when Big E did so I could help him on the mountain. Learning new things puts me into an open state of mind, vulnerable, teachable and when I accomplish a new skill like parallel turns on a blue run I feel triumphant. I want my kids to feel that too. 
When new activities are tried together it creates bonding memories, helps individuals push their boundaries and puts us in a good mental place.
Seeing my kids conquer obstacles gives me opportunities to praise. So much of my communication with my tots revolves around getting them to do things – clean up, homework, get dressed, stop hitting your sister. It’s nice to just have fun together and have the opportunity to see them do something difficult.
Sitting on the chair lift forces you to talk to each other. My sister and brother-in-law have older kids, including a teenage daughter and tween son. What they like about skiing together is the one on one time they get with their kids who would rather be hanging out with friends. I’m not against trapping my kids twenty feet in the air to have some positive bonding time.

Skiing and snowboarding gives me a reason to love winter. Let’s be honest, shoveling, scraping, and driving in snow is not fun. Darkness at five pm is depressing. Cold weather is uncomfortable. Winter can be rough so having something fun that depends on cold and snow makes seasonal depression less of an issue.

We are a skiing and snowboarding family. Even when the snow doesn’t cooperate we will be out on the slopes, spending time together and enjoying the outdoors. If you’re looking for a way to create some positive connections with your kids try skiing together.

I Don’t Do Perfect

Last night my children asked to have a Christmas party. On November 29th. I’m not quite ready to do that since I’m still cleaning up from Thanksgiving, but I did say we could do a craft.

Perusing Pinterest, Big E saw the perfect Christmas Craft –  a cute orange and white paper ornament from HowAboutOrange.blogspot.com that we had all the supplies for at home.

The directions seemed simple enough with some parent help so we got to work. Here’s how ours ended up.
Obviously I am not a Pinterest maven. And my son and daughter noticed.
“It’s not supposed to look like that!”
“Why did you make it this way?”
“I wanted it perfect!”
Sorry kids. I don’t do perfect. Especially on my first try.
I make mistakes. I do my best. Part of me feels flattered that my tots assume that I could make a perfect ornament on my first try. I think that’s part of childhood wonder, seeing your parents as infallible. 
But the larger part of me wants to teach them that life is a series of attempts and failures, halfway done projects and less than perfect results. It’s called progress. This larger part of me also wants to teach them to only say nice things to their mother, especially when she’s trying to do something nice for them like make a Pinterest ornament.
A while ago I decided that parenting is just doing your best. When I think back on my childhood I can’t remember many specific lessons on how to be a good person. But I remember my parents being good people. I remember how rarely they argued, how they worked together and how they loved all of their nine children. And now I can hear myself saying things they said and acting how they act. I figure that even if I can’t teach my kids by overt lessons, maybe they’ll pick it up through osmosis. 
After the Christmas Paper Ornament project, the insults, timeouts and hangry banter we sat down to dinner. Roast Chicken and Potatoes. It’s become one of my favorite meals to make and eat. The first time I made it wasn’t perfect but now I can honestly say it’s the tastiest chicken I have ever had. That’s what happens with experience. Each time we try the results improve.
So the craft turned out less than perfect, but the chicken was pretty close. That’s no surprise to me. I don’t do perfect, but I can get better every time I try.
Now I just have to teach that to my kids.

When Real Life Hits

October was a busy month in our Mountain Family. We had two birthdays, two camping trips, Halloween, school, preschool, work, doctor appointments, a broken rib, and a flooded basement.

Apart from the birthdays, Halloween and camping, none of that list is fun or exciting and all of it requires work. Loading, motivating kids, driving, packing, unpacking, costuming, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning – it feels like life has hit hard these last few weeks. 

We all know life has its ups and downs. We’ve all given and gotten advice on how to handle it. Simplify. Enjoy the Journey. Look on the Bright Side. But what about those times when you don’t want to look on the bright side? What about walking into your flooded basement after a five day camp out when you haven’t showered and your kids have been crying for the last hour in the car?

There are times when I want to curl up in a ball and cry. So I do. (Actually the crying was minimal, mostly I just vented to my mom on the phone.)

But then what? A moment of chaos strikes, hits like a hurricane, and leaves the debris in its wake. How do you react? What do you do next?

If you’re like me, then you wipe away your sniffles and do something. The smallest thing. The easiest thing.

I gave my kids a bath, then I took a shower. After that I made dinner while Mountain Dad ripped up soaking carpet in the basement. I did one load of laundry, then another. We moved one piece of furniture, then another. Slowly, step by step, we dug ourselves out of the chaos together. The basement still has no carpet and my to do list is a mile and a half long, but I know I can take small steps and eventually things will get done. That’s my only option.

Yes, sometimes life sucks. Yes, sometimes it’s a lot of work. That applies to everyone whether they have kids, live in an apartment, are 17 or 79. Everyone will have unexpected chaos in their life at one time or another. It’s okay to slow life down, focus on only the most necessary actions and realize that somethings are nice and good, but don’t need your attention right at that moment.

That’s what I’ve been doing for the past few weeks. Sometimes when real life hits, it hits hard.

You’re Jealous of Me?

I have a confession to make. I’m nothing special.

Most of my days are spent wrangling small children, cleaning up messes, breaking up arguments and feeding people. I clean up poop several times a day, and it’s rarely my own. Despite my best efforts I live in a perpetually messy house. Occasionally my entourage and I go on short hikes or spend time outdoors. I wish I did that more.
It’s not glamorous, but it’s my life.
So last week when I went to the Outdoor Retailer trade show I felt out of my comfort zone by a lot. The biggest companies in the outdoor gear world are there. Thousands of dollars are spent for brands and people to connect. Sales are made, fortunes gained or lost. Actually I’m not sure about that last part, but suffice it to say people have their professional game on.
What did I have on? A baby.
Baby L is not quite five months old. Her only source of nutrition is breast milk meaning that wherever I go, she goes. While Big E was at campOR (loved it) and little g was playing with cousins, Baby L was strapped to my body all day long.
She was there when I checked out new products, talked to new people, even when I went to the bathroom. I fed her in a stairwell, storage area, even in the parking lot. It wasn’t pretty, but it was the only way I could’ve gone to the show. Side note: would it be that hard to leave a chair in the womens restroom so a breastfeeding woman can feed her baby in peace?
I was very nervous when I arrived at the show. Obviously I was out of my league. Carrying a baby on me is a far cry from the professional persona I tried to portray. 
But here’s the thing. Professionals don’t always act professionally. Instead of people looking down on my for bringing a baby along, Baby L became a rock star garnering attention everywhere I went. Strangers would smile, coo and talk in baby voices. Random women asked to hold her or keep her at their booths all day. But what surprised me most was a comment someone made in the bathroom.
Baby L was in her MobyWrap smiling at people in the mirror while I awkwardly washed my hands (it’s not easy to have a 15 pound child strapped to your front). A woman two sinks down looked in my direction and sighed. 
“What am I even doing here? I should be home with my three year old.”
That’s all she said. That was enough. 
I couldn’t tell you how many times I have felt just a little worthless being a stay at home mom. Not a lot worthless, but enough to think I’m not cool enough or somehow I’m not on equal footing with women in real careers. But in that moment things changed. Here was a career woman jealous of my messy, unglamourous life. The tables had turned. I had something desirable – the freedom to spend every day with the best kids in the world. My own.
I know many women out there with strong feelings on this topic and I would love to hear them. For me, I’m just a little more grateful for my life and I can’t wait to try that next great adventure with the tots. Being a Mountain Mom is the best job I could imagine.