Category: Motherhood Moments

Mountain Baby and a New Normal

Dear Readers,

I’m sorry I haven’t posted since February. The reason for my silence has been the anticipation and arrival of the newest member of our family – Mountain Baby.

A new baby is a blessing, so small and precious, but getting it here is tough. I had forgotten how tiring being pregnant is, how little energy I would have for outdoor fun.  In those last few months of pregnancy I could barely walk down Big E’s hallway at school without getting winded and walking up stairs was an endurance event. It was hard respecting the fact that my body just could not do the things it could before. Those physical limitations led to emotional weariness as well. The thought of doing anything above the bare minimum for survival was too much.  

Now that Mountain Baby is here I feel physically better and worse. I’m able to lay on my back comfortably, I can breathe deeply and reach down to pick things up off the ground, but I’m also sore and exhausted from lack of sleep. Once again I’m trying to respect what my body can do and not expect much more than that. I want to compare my daily achievements to what I was able to do before, but when I do I come up woefully short. Showering and feeding my kids do not make an impressive list of accomplishments.

With time I know I will find my way to a new normal. I know there will come a day where I’m not waking up every 3 hours to feed a newborn, comforting a jealous older sister, and managing Big E’s schoolwork while breaking into tears because my kids aren’t listening and the baby’s crying. I believe that day will come. For now I will try (again) to show myself and my family kindness and compassion, to not expect too much and enjoy the blessed moments of peace.

Holding Mountain Baby helps me remember the things I love in my life – my kids, my husband and the outdoors. I’m excited to introduce her to the world of camping, hiking, biking and loving the outdoors. She’s a precious blessing in my life and I’m grateful she’s here. I hope you’ll read along with our adventures in family life and the outdoors.

Thanks for reading. I hope you get out and have your own adventures!

Sitting Out on Skiing With the Tots

Being 9 months pregnant puts a damper on our outdoor activities, but I still want my kids to get out and be active. This is where I recruit others. A few weeks ago Grandpa came to take the kids on a ski adventure. 
With little g only three years old her ski skills are minimal. Just read here to see how well my attempt at skiing with her was. She’s still learning the basic concept of stopping. Thankfully Grandpa was willing to try a short green run with her between his skis. She loves the downhill movement, often saying “Weeee!” as if she’s on a slide at the park. But I feel like it’s a lot of work to take her skiing, which is why she was done after just one run.
Big E on the other hand, has gone semi pro. Not really, but he’s not afraid to ride intermediate blues or try tiny jumps or side trails through the trees. Grandpa, who only gets on skis once or twice a year, said he was a great ski partner. “We’re about at the same level right now, in a few years I’m sure he’ll be blasting past me.”
Watching from the sidelines while my kids had all the outdoor fun would normally make me feel like I was missing out. In this season of my life, however, I can recognize that it’s okay for me to sit out, rest, relax. Just being in the outdoors, breathing the air will have to be enough for now. My body can only handle the extra burden of growing a baby, it can’t handle snowboarding, skiing, hiking and biking as well. And that’s okay. 
It can be hard to love your body as it increases in weight and decreases in energy. But it’s good to try, after all, it’s the only body you’ve got.

Are You a Pusher Parent?

Big E turned six last week so I’ve spent a large amount of my time celebrating. There was the family dinner, presents, a bouncy house outing and taking a friend, cousin and sister to the arcade. With a birthday in January and my being eight months pregnant my outdoor celebratory options were minimal. I did arrange for Big E to go skiing with a talented teenage neighbor (Mountain Dad doesn’t ski yet) but the morning of his big day he told me in no uncertain terms, “Today’s my birthday. I can’t go skiing.”
I’m not sure what about the day would prevent him from skiing. In my world snowboarding would be the number one activity of choice for my big day. I was flummoxed and asked him repeatedly, “Are you sure you don’t want to go skiing today? You can go for just an hour if you want.” But he was sure. It was his birthday and he didn’t want to spend it skiing.
This brought up an interesting self reflective question. Am I a pusher parent? My answer: Yes.
You know the kind, the ones who live vicariously through their children, who excessively encourage sports, academics, dance or any other interest to the detriment of their over-scheduled offspring. There’s a great chapter on this in the book All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood by Jennifer Senior. I talked about this book in this previous post.
It discusses the pressure parents feel to have their children involved and the causes of that pressure. What parent doesn’t want their child to develop talents, learn discipline, and make friends, after all? Sports, scouting, clubs and groups are great ways to accomplish that, but how does the child’s schedule affect the family unit as a whole? I don’t want to be just a taxi service for my over-involved children and after reading All Joy and No Fun I decided I wouldn’t force my kids into anything.
Then ski season came around.
We live near Sundance Resort in Utah. Our family chooses to live here because of its easy access to recreational activities. I LOVE snowboarding, it is one of the top ways I feel joy in being alive. In fact being pregnant during this entire ski season has caused more than a few depressed days this winter. I fully intend to teach my kids to ski and snowboard as soon as they can walk. I want that to be the sport they care about as much as I do. In my house I’d love for the winter X games to be a bigger sporting event than the Super Bowl.
If that makes me a pusher parent, oh well. I believe a love of outdoor sports is worth a little parental pressure.
I hope my influence doesn’t cross the line between coercion and creating a outdoor family culture. My goal as a parent is to give my children skills they can use throughout their lives, very specific skills that have brought joy and adventure to my own life. Here’s my list:
1 – Skiing or Snowboarding.  It’s just so awesomely fun, plus when they’re teenagers we’ll have something in common and they’ll be stuck on a lift with me, forcing them to talk to me about it.
2 – Music. Playing the piano and trumpet opened doors to friendships I would not have had otherwise. I could take pride in my abilities, even though I never was an exceptionally good musician.
3 – Speaking Spanish. Learning a foreign language was hard. For me it included two foreign exchange programs and a lot of extra classes in high school and college. But I use Spanish in my life a lot and if I can give that gift to my kids and make it easier by teaching them when they’re young, I’ll do it.
4 – Riding a bike and swimming.Swimming can save lives and every kid should know how to ride a bike.
I guess my kids will have to live with the fact that I will push them in these areas. I’ll have to get over it too. Activities above and beyond these will have to be inspired by the kids themselves.

So, in what areas are you a pusher parent? I can’t be the only one out there…I hope.

Motherhood Moments: Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?

Choosing to be an active outdoor parent is tough sometimes (just read here about skiing with little g). I’m starting my eighth month of pregnancy and every day I feel it more and more. Simple actions like putting on shoes and picking something up off the floor are now accompanied by sighs and grunts of exertion. 
So you can imagine how hard it is to motivate myself to bundle Big E, little g and myself in snow clothes and traipse through the snow. It sounds like a lot of work but, like exercise or healthy living, I know I will feel better after I make the effort. Being outdoors lifts my mood every time, even if it’s just for a few minutes every day.

This snowman activity started out as a snowshoeing adventure but quickly changed once reality hit. Little g wanted to hold my hand to walk through the snow that was past her boots. I get it, that’s deep snow when you’re three feet tall. When I tried to tell her it’d be easier to walk in my footsteps she cried and complained. Big E wanted to throw snow at everyone and was ecstatic to make the perfect snowball (which he eventually threw at me and his sister). 
Making a snowman was the compromise. I got what I wanted – outdoor time with my kids. Big E got what he wanted – to smash snow together into round shapes. Little G got what she wanted – to stop trudging through deep snow. Where we live the snow is rarely wet enough to actually make snowmen so that was a treat on its own.

Sometimes being an outdoor parent requires flexibility and compromise. Actually make that ALL the time in ALL parenting. But the hard work is worth it when you and your kids can enjoy that time together. Too much of my life is spent telling my kids what to do and not do. I relish the moments when we can all just play outside together. Even if it takes some work.